It Happened on November 1st

Great Events That Never Happened!
(based on great events that did)

1611 -

William Shakespeare presents “Forbidden Planet” for the first time at Whitehall Palace in London and gets a luke-warm reception from a perplexed crowd. He immediately applies adjustments and re-presents the play as “The Tempest” in time for the evening session and to great acclaim.

1765 –

British Parliament enacts the Stamp Act on the 13 colonies of British America. The resulting gratitude spawns multiple protests including persons burnt as effigy, effigies burnt as people, buildings destroyed, moratoriums on the sale of English goods, and damning editorials. British Prime Minister Grenville was later overheard saying “Not to worry. I’m sure these colonials will appreciate it all in good time. Some more tea, anyone?”

1800 –

John Adams becomes the first US President to take up residence in the newly built “Executive Mansion” (later referred to as the “White House”). Adams then becomes the first US President to complain about the Department of Public Works.

1848 –

The first medical school for women is opened in Boston, Massachusetts. Upon seeing the first class, the Dean promptly chased out all the gynecologists and brought in all the real students.
(I never said they would be good jokes – wolverine59)

1870 –

In the United States, the Weather Bureau (later renamed the National Weather Service) makes its first official meteorological forecast. Americans get to read it four days after the forecast and immediately begin the great tradition of bitching about the Weather Bureau.

1911 –

The first dropping of a bomb from an airplane in combat occurred, during the Italo-Turkish War. It was originally intended to be a friendly gesture, but unfortunately the container of “grappa” exploded.

1915 –

Parris Island, South Carolina is officially designated a United States Marine Corps Recruit Depot. In a nearby warehouse, Ronald Lee Ermey is being assembled from spare parts and under great secrecy.

1950 –

Pope Pius XII claims Papal Infallibility when he formally defines the dogma of the Assumption of Mary. This was proclaimed in his Apostolic Constitution “Munificentisimus Deus” which was promptly re-issued as “Munificentissimus Deus” when a priest noticed the misspelling. That priest was never seen nor heard of again.

1957 –

The Mackinac Bridge, the world's longest suspension bridge between anchorages at the time, opens to traffic connecting Michigan's upper and lower peninsulas. The “Mackinac Bridge Walk” tradition begins the following year after LSD is mistakenly introduced into the water supply at both ends of the bridge. The “Mackinac Bridge Terrors”, as it was originally called, continues, albeit in spirit, to this day.

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And THAT'S the way it never was!